Sorry it took me so long

Dear Robyn,

it has been 9 months since I last wrote, apart from scribbled paragraphs on the back of envelopes, in notebooks, on scraps of paper. I am sorry it has took me so long.

I went back to work in September after maternity leave which took months to adjust, and just as I did, I relapsed. But I am getting there now with the help of those around me and lots of running. I guess that is the nature of the beast of bipolar.

This time of year is always tough Robyn, it reminds me of being pregnant with you, the all day sickness that ran beyond 12 weeks, the winter days, the hopeful planning. Now it is a build up to your birthday, which I always want to celebrate, it is just painful at the same time.

It is 7 weeks and 2 days until the London marathon which I am running in your memory for the wonderful charity Tommy’s. The day of the marathon is the day of your 3rd birthday so it is extra special. Everyone has been truly amazing with donating and I have raised over £1,000 so far. All for you. Not bad for little old me.

The reason I am doing this is to mark your birthday, your life, for you to never be forgotten. I feel alive when I run and in turn I feel like I am keeping you alive. I have been training hard since October, in the rain, hail, sunshine and most recently, in blizzards and several inches of snow! I hope I do you proud on the day.

I will keep you updated each week on the run up to the marathon. Next is to have my vest printed with your name and date of birth.

Miss you heaps little one, keep running with me.

Lots of love,

Mummy xxx

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