Love Locks

Dear Robyn,

mummy and I miss you so much. No words reflect or explain it enough. We are both finding things tough at the moment, it feels like we have to make our entry into the world much quicker than we feel ready for. We need so much strength to do the basics. It’s so hard going out into the world, I see pregnant women, babies and little boys, I wonder if you would like trains and cars. Now that we are approaching your due date in the next few months it’s getting more and more painful. Three months on I still think you are coming home and this nightmare will be over. Missing you is such a physical pain for which there are no pain killers, no distractions and no words to make it better. Just a lot of tears and tummy ache.

I hope you like the love lock I put on the bridge at Bakewell for you, I kissed the keys and then threw them in the river. Hopefully a big fish won’t eat them! I saw some people read your lock and it made me a little happier to know you are out there and people know how special you are. 

I hope you are playing and having fun in the garden when the sun shines. There are four yellow roses opening up on your plant, they are so bright. I wish I could sit in the garden with you and show them to you.

Sending you big cuddles and kisses. Miss you heaps and love you lots. You are my special boy always,

Mummy xxxx


3 thoughts on “Love Locks

  1. I’m so sorry for your tremendous loss. I know first hand what it is like and how difficult it is to endure. Our first child was a miscarriage and it was devastating. I know that there is nothing that can be said or done to take this unique pain away but I do know that it gets better over time. I admire what you are doing with this blog. We planted a tree in our front yard for our baby and watched it grow through the years.


      • It’s rough for a while but you just have to grieve. People would tell my wife and I all the time that it would be ok and it’ll get better but it’s ok to take your time and heal at your own pace. There is no time limit on this. It’s a delicate process and it sounds harsh but if we didn’t lose our first one, we never would have had the two we have now. Lots of prayer and time with my wife was the formula for me to heal. The thing is that you will never forget. And that’s great. You should always remember and I know you will. My kids know that they have an older brother or sister and we talk about him/her often. No matter how brief, they are still a part of our lives and family and the love doesn’t go away.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s